Whitney's right... I've reached the point where I will exhale

Saturday, May 30th an unsuspecting Delta employee kindly greets me in a deserted terminal at DTW where moments later for the first time in public, I shed uncontrollable tears. I try to hold them in, I really do. I tell myself, 'Keep your composure, at least until you make it to the pay phone cubby'! That statement in and of itself was enough to keep the water works flowing; I don't even have a mode of communication. I am now just like the terminal, deserted.

After 6 days - one hundred and forty four hours - of travleing, packing, shopping, preparing, hello's, goodbye's, driving, planning, laundry, stressing, reassuring, visiting, organizing, explaining, emailing... my emotional rollercoaster came to a crashing hault; I'm stuck in Michigan and I'm not going anywhere. Well, until I get either A) A visa or B) Shell out a couple more hundred for a new flight to do so. My effortless dreams and plans have been crushed. This cannot be happening, this isn't how it was supposed to go. I know it's no use, what's the point of debating reality? Reality has brought me right back into a Volvo, cruising down 94, and my mind can't stop racing to figure out what my next move will be.

Despite my creativity, my options are quickly being exhausted. In order to reissue my unused ticket (Flight NW8901 is flying high in the sky by now) to redeem the whopping $98 to put towards a new ROUND TRIP ticket (very important for all of you international travelers out there!), I would owe a $150 penalty and another $50 on top of that. Superb. Scratch that. How about a Visa? I ring the Colombian Embassy in D.C. Perplexed why no one was picking up my call, a light bulb flickers: it's Saturday. Man, I'm really on a roll here. I do a little google'ing and my speculations (driven primarily by sentences that pretty clearly state exactly this) lead me to realize it could take a whole lot of time before I'm granted a Visa. I begin to loose faith; looking out the sideview mirror of the car, memories of the past 2 months, the anticipation to see my girls again and rejoining Habitat are quickly fading along in the distance. 'So long future 3 months!' Loosing faith that is until the Enemy (Delta), becomes the Allie. It took a day of recooperation, 1 massive migraine and a dent in my travel tissues to recreate my departure (with minimal damage at that). I'm drained and I'm tired, I'm content for now. Right now all I need is to let go of the breath that I've been holding onto and exhale.

Shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop-be-doop.

Homeward Bound

Officially back on American soil as of Saturday at approximately 5:30ish p.m. (thank you very much Delta!). I had mixed feelings about returning home for a quick visit. Nevertheless, a free ticket home to see your worry-riden family for seven days is usually something you can't pass up. It's like they say though, there's no such thing as a free lunch. I know my lack of excitment may sound odd, (and it's not that I didn't miss the fam, however worry-riden they may be, or the good old USofA for that matter) but once you've already put yourself out there and are in backpacker mode, it can be a big adjustment to unadjust to everything you just spent 2 months adjusting to in the first place. Being able to actually understand every word, phrase, conversation -what have you - in evesdropping sight; flushable loo's; drinkable tap water; accomplishing seemingly menial tasks exponentially faster (i.e. getting food, agua, laundry, internet...I'm struggling to fill my days here in the Mitten and it's only been 48 hours); just to highlight a few immediately recognizable differences.

Turns out those mixed feelings straightened right out after a few mixed drinks with some old friends. I now realize a week back in Michigan will be the extra dash of confidence that reconfirms my decision to stay abroad, provide some much needed quality time with my beloveds and allow me to resuit, regear, and repack (and not to mention give my overworked intestines a break). I look forward to the week to come and I look forward to my Colombian summer; I look forward to it all.

"They say people in your life are like seasons and anything that happens is for a reason"

It started off as a post-college dream. As some Nirvana I had to achieve. I thought I could control it all while I was gone; control how much I change and the relationships I was involved in. Now I'm here - in a hole in the wall internet shop, large black sunglasses disguising the tears in my eyes on an overcast Antiguan day -and the world has its way with you. Sure, you let it change you, to some extent you even welcome the change. But after a while you begin to wonder when and how it all happened to you. Are you really this person? You're stuck in the middle of where you were and where you are supposed to be.

I thought I would go away for a month, maybe 2 for the financial aspect alone, if nothing else. But I knew deep down, the gypsy inside of me had a secret agenda of her own. In the back of my mind she would tell me that I could fall in love with it all and never come back. That seemed too radical though. Surely I just needed to get this travel bug out of my system and move on from right where I left off. That's exactly it though. You can't always return to where you leave from. Maybe the bug I had to get out of my system was achieved. Maybe it was leaving home, traveling, doing things that scare me everyday - living a life that has meaning and is meaningful. I keep trying to convince myself I made a mistake coming here, but just like the gypsy I tried to ignore, deep down I know it was what I needed to do.

So where does a girl go from here? The gypsy tells me anything is possible, and this time I believe her. It's time to move on and see where this road will lead me.

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Viva Las Vegas

Okay, so it has been a while (a long while) since I have updated. Traveling the world really gets your hands tied up and there is not a whole lot of free time at your disposal to catch up on life, if you will. I did something kind of crazy though and I just wanted to update you on that at least. Hopefully in a few days time I will catch you up on Puerto, Guate City, Antigua, and San Andres Island. Rough life, huh?

Anyways, from time to time you may be noticing the absence of question marks, apostrophes, and other necessary grammatical marks that are often needed when forming coherent sentence structures. Im not illeterate, Im just not down with Latin American computer systems. They are a real trip.

Getting on with my story.

It all started 2 nights ago when I was approached by one of my fellow team members with a proposition to join them in Cartagena, Colombia for a few days (a resort town on the Northeastern corner of mainland Colombia). Surprisingly enough the Cuba Libres in me dismissed the idea immediately as rediculous. However, last nights soberness made me think a little longer and clearer on the opportunity.

11am this morning at ADZ airport, my flight (paid in full) back to Guate takes off - without me. After 2 hours of negotations and consideration, I've decided to take the leap and buy my ticket to Cartagena. Goodbye Panama, MGA and Guate City. Hello Las Vegas (ironically, that is the hotel we are staying at and no I didn't plan it that way)!

I understand the spontaniety of my choice; believe me, I have butterflies flocking to all areas of my body. 'I'm flying to Colombia to meet an Egyptian' was not a phrase I ever expected to come out of my mouth. Totally on board with that. And the fact that abandoning my scheduled flight back may or may not have been the right decision for a variety of reasons. However. It is only for a few days... well actually... its for as long as I want. I suppose if resort life in Colombia turns out to be a crock I can always hop on the next flight out of there. I just couldnt help but wonder what I would be missing if I missed Cartagena...

"The mountain that empties your stomach"

April 3rd & 4th - Oaxaca City & Puerto Escondido, Oaxaca

The rest of my time spent in the city was compromised of wandering through various shops and museums solo and plans that fell through. To begin with, I was scheduled (and paid for) to take a day trip to Monte Alban, but apparently a protest (ehm, for the SECOND day in a row) decided it was necessary to block the one road needed to get to my destination. Bummer #1. Later on, we had planned on trying a salsa class. No classes offered on Viernes, only Lunes to Jueves. Bummer #2.

We headed to bed and woke bright and early to depart for Semana Stanta - thrilled for beach week in Puerto!!!

Wrong.

It was probably the most nauseating 6 hour bus ride I have ever experienced in my life. Ever. I felt like a mother in labor, taking my heh-heh-hew's, trying to keep the oxygen flow going and what was left in my stomach from coming up my mouth. Quite possibly the reason this winding mountain trail of a road is dubbed "the mountain that empties your stomach". You don't have much left upon arrival. Luckily, I was able to keep myself from emptying my stomach; however, a local on another nearby bus was emptying hers out the window. Ek.

Immediately I could sense the difference in locations. Puerto is as authentic a beach town as you could ever desire. The sun, the sand and the smell of the Pacific crashing in the distance.

We made our hot, sweaty trek (packs in tow) to our casa for the week. And what a wonderful surprise indeed! Casa Loma looked like paradise and for $10/night it is better than paradise. Suddenly the last 6 hours were totally worth it and room by room, we were guided through our tropical mansion by the gardener.

Eating beachside, patiently waiting for the rest of the crew to arrive, I had my first-ever taste of what I like to call Mexico's Long Island (and if you know me at all, you know my love for LI's are strong). The Coco Loco, intoxicating as it sounds, is tequila, rum and vodka loaded into a coconut larger than the size of my head. I would say the coco jugos was an afterthought in this beverage.

Around midnight the entire crew was complete. Emma, Dibo, Sam, Tony, Bex, Chino, Juanish, Sharp, (soon to be Jorge), and I settled into our diggs and shared a nightcap on the third floor outdoor living space. It was going to be a great week.

"but i thought it came with beans..."

April 1st & 2nd

Oaxaca City, Oaxaca

Arriving impossibly fresh and stunning looking was more challenging than one may think. Landing in Oaxaca, I was down 1 gold bracelet and up a whole lot of holes in the crotch of my patched and re-patched blanco pantalones, I so desparately wanted to bring. Beware: Holes in the crotch spread like wildfires people.

We spent the day touring the charming streets of the city; popping in various cathedrals (absolutley stunning, they really show the churches of America what's up); visited the Zocalo; hiked up to Auditorio Guelaguetza to view the city ariel style; enjoyed a cafe at the ex-convent, now a high-end hotel; passed through several markets (can we say chaos!); explored the casa de la ciudad museum; and experienced my first taste of Tlyuada in a cozy, street side restaurant. The Tyluada was rico but Emma was rather disappointed with her combo especial - beans NOT included. Other first-time foods include: papaya, guyaba and toposo.

Chilling in the courtyard of our very colorful hostel, I'm trying to bust out a quick Spanish lesson before the sun goes down (no outdoor lighting here). Reflecting on the day, I have to be honest. So far I'm still absorbing everything. Initially, things were pretty overwhelming. Note to self: It's stressful not understanding Spanish, especially when visiting a Spanish speaking country. I can't say I finally understand foreigners living in America who do not understand English, but I certainly sympathize with them now. How one can live in a country their entire life without feeling the urgency to become fluent is on them. 24 hours here and I can't get fluent fast enough. On the flip side, Emma has been a great translator. Never before had I heard her speak Spanish. So the first time she exchanged in rapid dialog, I was very impressed. In order to completely grasp my Latin American experience however, the Spanish lessons shall continue...